A United Household (Ephesians 5:15-6:9)

When we talk about marriage or the struggles in the household we want to go right to the commands.  We want to hear what we must do and how hard we must try to be successful Christians.  However, the Apostle Paul labors to communicate that we cannot do if the work has not been done.  What work needs to be done?  What life needs to be lived before we can live out the Christian life?  How do we promote a unified household in the Lord?